I Asked The Lord

I heard this hymn at my visit to RUF a few weeks back. I remember singing the words and realizing how true they were. I made a mental note to remember the hymn for future reference, but of course I forgot the title.

However, a friend recently retweeted this article on Reformation 21, and lo and behold! It was about that very hymn! Divine providence? I think so.

It's relevance to the Christian walk and prayer is astounding. John Newton's words really struck a chord with me. Too many times I've asked, "Lord why is this?" and He's replied, "Tis in this way." I thought I'd republish the lyrics here for your enjoyment. :)
SDG

I Asked The Lord

I asked the Lord that I might grow

In faith and love and every grace
Might more of His salvation know
And seek more earnestly His face

Twas He who taught me thus to pray
And He I trust has answered prayer
But it has been in such a way
As almost drove me to despair

I hoped that in some favored hour
At once He'd answer my request
And by His love's constraining power
Subdue my sins and give me rest

Instead of this He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart
And let the angry powers of Hell
Assault my soul in every part

Yea more with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Cast out my feelings, laid me low

Lord why is this, I trembling cried
Wilt Thou pursue thy worm to death?
"Tis in this way" The Lord replied
"I answer prayer for grace and faith"

"These inward trials I employ
From self and pride to set thee free
And break thy schemes of earthly joy
That thou mayest seek thy all in me,
That thou mayest seek thy all in me."

Change In Plans

Two things:

1. 14-year-old me picked a good band to be her all time favorite.
2. I think I shall drop out of grad school, quit work, and follow Coldplay around the world to work on my 14-year-old self's ambition: become Mrs. Chris Martin. :)

SDG

Weekend Adventure

I just heard a sports announcer say that this was the last Sunday of summer. It's a bittersweet concept, as I have lamented in an earlier post. While fall doesn't come to Hattiesburg until about December (a sad fact, I've had to come to terms with), one outdoor activity that will suffer is swimming. So Saturday morning, some friends and I decided we would go to Red Bluff to hike and swim in the river. This is the bluff:

We climbed down and began our trek, collecting purple clay along the way, making tribal-esq markings on each others' arms and faces. As we got near the end of the trail, we discovered that Tropical Storm Lee had flooded the river way up the trail, covering our entry point, a rocky beach. Without the beach, there was no resting place to keep us from getting caught in the river's current. We tried to find a way around it, but after being mauled by mosquitoes and slipping around in stinky mud, there was no other place we could get in, so we turned back around.

We didn't let this unexpected change of plans dishearten our spirits, though! We still had a great time enjoying the outdoors and each others' company. We even roped a nice couple into taking group pictures of us.

It was a very good day, and it ended with some delicious frozen yogurt and a movie at the apartment, not to mention a free fireworks show across the street.

SDG

Whatever Works

Drinking coffee out of a extra-large, smiley face cup: motivation for finishing the last 2 to 3 pages of a paper due in about 5 hours.
SDG

Losing Direction

Before I moved to Hattiesburg, I had this feeling in my gut that Tupelo was not where I was meant to be. I take my gut feelings very seriously, so I prayed about it and through some very tough analysis of my motivations, I applied for graduate school. Thankfully, I can see now that God had  a purpose in my moving here. I've grown a lot spiritually, met some great people, made some friendships I'm certain will last a life-time, and gained some professional experience.

For a while, I could see myself continuing life in Hattiesburg, working full-time where I intern, devoting more time to my church, all at the very least until my roommate finishes her graduate degree next year. However, I got the gut feeling again....

All of a sudden, a desire I had when I finished my undergrad returned in full force. I could picture myself working for a place with a Gospel purpose, further North, in cooler weather, closer to other friends, but about the same distance from family as I am now.

I feel the call of Nashville.

This is where me simultaneously feeling lost comes in. I graduate in May, and now I don't know what God has planned for me after this. A part of me would be content here, but I also feel the need to wander a bit, experience new people, new places. It comes down to an issue of comfort versus risk... and possibly heartache. I took a risk in January, and it worked out, but I feel like God reveals His plans for me in a way that completely revolutionizes what I perceived His plan to be previously. I need to be in prayer.

God, I want to do Your will. I want a life completely devoted to Your glory, but Lord, sometimes I don't know what that means. I have my own desires, and pray to see them come to fruition, but I know that ultimately it's Your desire for my life that matters. Help me internalize that concept so it becomes as natural a thought as breathing. I ask this all in Jesus' name, as it is not me, but He who lives in me. Amen.
SDG