Nearly 1 a.m.

I accidentally deleted the photos in this blog. Don't ask me how exactly, but I certainly did it. I'm in the process of adding them back, though, so be patient.

Christmas has come and past. It seems the years are going by faster and faster, though this has indeed been an eventful one. Just this time last year I was planning a move to Hattiesburg, applying for graduate school, and spending my days with three amazing kids.

Now, I live in Hattiesburg, I'm very nearly done with graduate school, and I'm looking at big girl jobs that may take me even further away from the familiar. It's scary, but so was Hattiesburg initially, and that turned out better than I could have ever imagined.

I've been home (1st home) for several days now. I took this week off work, so I don't plan on going back til after the New Year. I've had time to finish a book, The Hunger Games, and I plan on checking out the other two in the the series from the library tomorrow. I'm well into season four of Bleach, an anime series I inadvertently became addicted to. And, I've made some good progress on a knitting project.

I need time like this. Time to be me... to find me. Sometimes I get so caught up in being Grad School Brittany, Work Brittany, Responsible-Pay-the-Bills-and-Buy-Groceries Brittany, I loose some of my essence. I know I've found it again, though, when I feel like my nine-year-old self on summer vacation. Reading until dawn, fantasizing about life, thinking about all the things I want to learn, see, do.

It's the little things that make me happy.
SDG

Oh, hey. It's November.

I know, I know. It's been forever since I've last posted. I haven't much felt like documenting my life here on the interwebs. I've been crazy busy with school, hanging out with friends in the spare moments, cleaning in other spare moments, working... oh, and taking care of my dog.

Yes, I have a dog now. Don't tell my landlords. Her name is Achei (pronounced Ah-shay). It's Portuguese for "Found you!", and before you get impressed at my language skills, it was a friend who grew up in Brazil and speaks fluent Portuguese that named her, not me, and he will quickly tell you my Portuguese skills are very lacking. She is uber cute, smart, and knows both of these things for herself and frequently takes advantage of them. :)

Secondly, I got to visit dear Starkville friends this weekend! It was so amazing! Well, I say Starkville friends, and really, it's only Cathy that still lives there, but I made these friends in Starkville, so that's what they will remain, even if some live in Jackson or Collierville.

I also got to experience some amazing bands live last weekend, the Avett Brothers, John Mark McMillan, Chris August (okay, not really a band), Gungor, and David Crowder*Band.

The Avett Brothers played at Bulldog Bash last Friday night. I had to endure some awful pop-country singer to get a good view of the stage, but it was worth it!

The other bands were a part of David Crowder*Band's 7Tour. They played in Jackson Sunday night. It was the last show of their last tour... ever. We were on the front row. It. was. amazing.

John Mark McMillan

Chris August

Gungor

Us literally on the stage

David Crowder!

Mark & Hogan

Mark, Hogan, Bwack, Crowder, Jack, and Mike D

It was an amazing night spent worshipping with amazing friends led by amazingly talent musicians.

Now, I should be working on a research pilot study. I don't have class until the 28th, but there is so much that needs to happen before then... like writing a lit review, figuring out my methodology, gathering my sample, formulating a code book and coding sheet, running stats.... Okay, breathe, Brittany, breathe. Must be productive now.
SDG

Hope is the Thing with Feathers

We've probably all heard this poem by Emily Dickinson:

Hope is the thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chilliest land
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb of me.

This weekend, some of my family and close friends camped together. I had so many unspoken desires and prayers about this trip as I was planning it. Tonight, though, a friend shared with me a goal of his for this trip,  and it was exactly what had been on my heart. To know that God heard my pleas, and placed that on my friend's heart as well, moves me tremendously. To know that my friends care about me, and to see God actively working in an area of my life I've thought was hopeless, suddenly renews my spirit.

I'm on a high right now-- a high from an amazing trip away from cell phones, computers, homework-- a high from fresh air, shooting stars, and campfires-- a high from God's abounding love and faithfulness.

Hope is the thing with feathers and I've heard it in the chilliest land. Amen.
SDG

Last Week

Last week I went home. It had been over two months, which is a long time for me. While I spent a majority of my time working on assignments, it was so good seeing my family. It was also good being able to take my laptop on the patio and enjoy the outdoors while being productive. Here's my paper-writing buddy. He missed me. :)

While I was not writing papers, though, I got to do a little shopping. Granna was kind enough to buy me some amazingly cute clothes (one item being some red skinny jeans!) and my sister found the perfect item for me to purchase for my coming nephew!

It says "My Auntie is the Best," which I totally will be! I left Sunday right after my cousins' 8th birthday party. Just an fyi, it's very hard to find the motivation to leave your family and drive 4 hours when they are having fun and eating cake. Yea for cousins!

It's good to be back in Hattiesburg, but I already miss my family. It's sort of a catch-22, because when I was in Tupelo, I missed my Hattiesburg family. I guess I'm really lucky to have so many amazing people in my life who care about me. God has indeed blessed me beyond comprehension.
SDG

Good Morning/Afternoon

How I've woken up the past few weeks:

1. Heard alarm
2. Groaned
3. Turned off alarm
4. Imagine what it'd feel like to sleep a few hours more
5. Groaned again
6. Rolled out of bed

How I woke up today:

1. Woke up on my on
2. Smiled because I had nothing to get up for
3. Opened my eyes
4. Realized I was home
5. Smiled again
6. Went back to sleep

Yea, mornings with no obligations! Yea, Tupelo!
SDG

I Asked The Lord

I heard this hymn at my visit to RUF a few weeks back. I remember singing the words and realizing how true they were. I made a mental note to remember the hymn for future reference, but of course I forgot the title.

However, a friend recently retweeted this article on Reformation 21, and lo and behold! It was about that very hymn! Divine providence? I think so.

It's relevance to the Christian walk and prayer is astounding. John Newton's words really struck a chord with me. Too many times I've asked, "Lord why is this?" and He's replied, "Tis in this way." I thought I'd republish the lyrics here for your enjoyment. :)
SDG

I Asked The Lord

I asked the Lord that I might grow

In faith and love and every grace
Might more of His salvation know
And seek more earnestly His face

Twas He who taught me thus to pray
And He I trust has answered prayer
But it has been in such a way
As almost drove me to despair

I hoped that in some favored hour
At once He'd answer my request
And by His love's constraining power
Subdue my sins and give me rest

Instead of this He made me feel
The hidden evils of my heart
And let the angry powers of Hell
Assault my soul in every part

Yea more with His own hand He seemed
Intent to aggravate my woe
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Cast out my feelings, laid me low

Lord why is this, I trembling cried
Wilt Thou pursue thy worm to death?
"Tis in this way" The Lord replied
"I answer prayer for grace and faith"

"These inward trials I employ
From self and pride to set thee free
And break thy schemes of earthly joy
That thou mayest seek thy all in me,
That thou mayest seek thy all in me."

Change In Plans

Two things:

1. 14-year-old me picked a good band to be her all time favorite.
2. I think I shall drop out of grad school, quit work, and follow Coldplay around the world to work on my 14-year-old self's ambition: become Mrs. Chris Martin. :)

SDG

Weekend Adventure

I just heard a sports announcer say that this was the last Sunday of summer. It's a bittersweet concept, as I have lamented in an earlier post. While fall doesn't come to Hattiesburg until about December (a sad fact, I've had to come to terms with), one outdoor activity that will suffer is swimming. So Saturday morning, some friends and I decided we would go to Red Bluff to hike and swim in the river. This is the bluff:

We climbed down and began our trek, collecting purple clay along the way, making tribal-esq markings on each others' arms and faces. As we got near the end of the trail, we discovered that Tropical Storm Lee had flooded the river way up the trail, covering our entry point, a rocky beach. Without the beach, there was no resting place to keep us from getting caught in the river's current. We tried to find a way around it, but after being mauled by mosquitoes and slipping around in stinky mud, there was no other place we could get in, so we turned back around.

We didn't let this unexpected change of plans dishearten our spirits, though! We still had a great time enjoying the outdoors and each others' company. We even roped a nice couple into taking group pictures of us.

It was a very good day, and it ended with some delicious frozen yogurt and a movie at the apartment, not to mention a free fireworks show across the street.

SDG

Whatever Works

Drinking coffee out of a extra-large, smiley face cup: motivation for finishing the last 2 to 3 pages of a paper due in about 5 hours.
SDG

Losing Direction

Before I moved to Hattiesburg, I had this feeling in my gut that Tupelo was not where I was meant to be. I take my gut feelings very seriously, so I prayed about it and through some very tough analysis of my motivations, I applied for graduate school. Thankfully, I can see now that God had  a purpose in my moving here. I've grown a lot spiritually, met some great people, made some friendships I'm certain will last a life-time, and gained some professional experience.

For a while, I could see myself continuing life in Hattiesburg, working full-time where I intern, devoting more time to my church, all at the very least until my roommate finishes her graduate degree next year. However, I got the gut feeling again....

All of a sudden, a desire I had when I finished my undergrad returned in full force. I could picture myself working for a place with a Gospel purpose, further North, in cooler weather, closer to other friends, but about the same distance from family as I am now.

I feel the call of Nashville.

This is where me simultaneously feeling lost comes in. I graduate in May, and now I don't know what God has planned for me after this. A part of me would be content here, but I also feel the need to wander a bit, experience new people, new places. It comes down to an issue of comfort versus risk... and possibly heartache. I took a risk in January, and it worked out, but I feel like God reveals His plans for me in a way that completely revolutionizes what I perceived His plan to be previously. I need to be in prayer.

God, I want to do Your will. I want a life completely devoted to Your glory, but Lord, sometimes I don't know what that means. I have my own desires, and pray to see them come to fruition, but I know that ultimately it's Your desire for my life that matters. Help me internalize that concept so it becomes as natural a thought as breathing. I ask this all in Jesus' name, as it is not me, but He who lives in me. Amen.
SDG

Not ready... but maybe

Second summer vacation was over as of last Wednesday.

I'm not yet ready to relinquish my only worries being work-related...
Reading what I want instead of what I have too...
Random late nights doing nothing in particular...
Days when putting on make up would be pointless...
Swimming all day long...
Spending most of my time outside the apartment...

However, the beginning of the semester signals the coming of Fall and many other good things.

Hot tea and coffee is even more enjoyable...
Football games to watch and attend...
Wearing jeans and sweatshirts, scarves and cardigans...
Leaves turning warm, pretty colors...
The option of running outside at whatever time of day I want...
Cool, crisp mornings that turn into warm afternoons...

Thank You, Lord, for the changing seasons. For giving us beautiful things to look at that signify Your amazing power and presence in our lives. Thank You for caring about us so much that You created these things for our enjoyment. Most of all, thank You for providing a way out of sin through the sacrifice of Your Son. Help me grow to be more like Him every day. It is in His name that I pray. Amen.
SDG

Music Post

Bands I want to see this Fall:

1. September - Coldplay, Manchester Orchestra, and The Black Keys at Music Midtown
2. October - Needtobreathe in Starkville
3. November - The Avett Brothers at Bulldog Bash and David Crowder Band in Jackson.

Bands I've obsessed over this Summer:

Phoenix - There's just something about them that makes me want to wear neon and dance around my living room.

Passion Pit - They also make me wanna dance around my living room while wearing neon... but with the addition of glow sticks.

Coldplay - I have been obsessed with them for far longer than this summer. Try nine glorious years. However, I'm super excited about their newest album, Mylo Xyloto, that will be released October 24. If the rest of the album is anything like Every Teardrop is a Waterfall, I dare say it will be their best since Parachutes.

SDG

Summer Part 2

My first ever summer school experience is over, and I am over half-way through with my graduate program. It feels great to be done with all my papers and to have a short break before I'm back at it in the fall.

This is the longest I've gone without blogging for a while. Honestly, school and work had taken up most of my time, so there really wasn't a lot to blog about. However, I did get in one good weekend of fun-ness. A few weekends ago, my amazingly talented friend performed her very first show, which was run and put together by some more amazingly talented friends. Here is the video of one of the covers she did that night. Also, she's got a couple songs on iTunes, so check her out.



Now, though, I have lots of free time between work, and I plan on spending a lot of it outside. Now, don't get me wrong about libraries, they have their purpose, but spending eight hours a day in one for about two weeks strait kills a little bit of my soul. Snshine is required. I celebrated my first day of summer break part 2 (part 1 was between Spring and the start of summer) by sliding in some dirt, hiking through some woods, and swimming in a river. Despite the fact that my shoulders burned since it had been a while since they had seen sunlight, I had a blast. We also finished out the day swimming in a pool and playing some tennis.

I had planned on going home (2nd home) this weekend to visit family, but some work things came up, and I had to reschedule. I'm a little disappointed, but I'm glad to have another weekend spending time with my friends before school, and to not miss time with my church family this Sunday.

Hopefully, I'll have some more exciting, adventurous things to blog later... with pictures, too.
SDG

Still Breathing

Sorry it's been a while. I've been quite busy doing some fun stuff... and some not so fun stuff. For example, stressing and preparing for the end of the semester crunch.

Due next week: Presentation on qualitative, self-conducted/executed research, 10 page literature review as well as an open-notes final, and thoughtful/analytical contributions to online class discussions.
Due the following week: 20+ page paper on qualitative, self-conducted/executed research, 5+ page literature review, and thoughtful/analytical contributions to online class discussions.

Productivity was at a low today.

I only completed one and a third of what I set out to do. I'm trying not to stress. I think I'll be fine, though. My brain just doesn't like it when my mental checklist for the day still has items left. If I had a nickle for every time I've had to push tasks to the next day... well, I'd have a lot of nickles, one of which would be called Phillip... and would be a girl nickle. (10 points if you catch the reference)

I'll be free after August 3! Well, at least until the 23 when Fall classes begin. *sigh* But only two more semesters after this one and I will have a master's degree!

I can't wait til school is over. I will only have work to worry about, which is far less stressful. In fact, it's kind of fun. I will pay back my student loans and buy a kayak and a tent and a dog and a sewing machine and open my own Etsy shop (right now, I have like zero time to be creative). It will be awesome. 
SDG

This time last year

Three weeks seemed to last forever.
Train's Save Me San Francisco  was the soundtrack to my life.
Mornings featured coffee and theology at the kitchen table.
Afternoons were a swimsuit in the backyard.
There were balmy evening runs in the park,
Followed by dinner with grandparents and Gunsmoke
But what I most looked forward to was night fall.
When I had conversations lasting til 2am--
Talks of philosophy, theology, and family...
Books, Classic Rock, and funny movies...
And everything in between.
It was good.
SDG

Thoughts on Ruth

My home church for the past few weeks has been doing a study on Ruth. This week, I was away, visiting family, so I decided that in my personal study time, I would look into an issue brought up concerning Ruth's laying down at the feet of Boaz in chapter 3. Some argue that this act, a sign of prostitution at that time, indicated that Ruth and Boaz had sex that night. Others, including Bible teachers and scholars whose opinions I highly respect, say otherwise. It was my personal opinion based on the context of the story and the descriptions of Boaz's and Ruth's characters that the former interpretation would seem out of place in a story meant to illustrate Christ's redemption of His Bride, the Church. However, to make sure I wasn't missing anything, I set out to gain insight from outside sources, sources who have way more training and understanding on Biblical scholarship than I.

First, I turned to Matthew Henry's commentary. Throughout his interpretations, Henry notes the commendable righteousness of both Ruth and Boaz. Oh, but here is where one might object, "But he was drunk! Look at verse 7." Yes, verse 7 says, And when Boaz had eaten and drunk, and his heart was merry, he went to lie down at the end of the heap of grain. Here I'm going to agree with Henry's interpretation, citing the Chaldee paraphrase, "Boaz ate and drank and his heart was good, and he blessed the name of the Lord, who had heard his prayers, and taken away the famine from the land of Israel." Boaz's heart was not merry in drunkenness, but in the fact that God had blessed him with a plentiful harvest.

Next, I sought insight into Naomi's strange plan for Ruth. Here, I found a sermon of John Piper's particularly helpful. Piper speculates on Naomi's motivations:

Why not a conversation with Boaz instead of this highly suggestive and risky midnight maneuver? Was Naomi indifferent to the possibility that Boaz might drive Ruth away in moral indignation, or that he might give in to the temptation to have sexual relations with her? Did Naomi want that to happen? Or was Naomi so sure of Boaz and Ruth that she knew they would treat each other with perfect purity—that Boaz would be deeply moved by this outright offer of Ruth in marriage and would avoid sexual relations until all was duly solemnized by the city elders?

Again, Henry offers some words of wisdom that lead me to believe that Naomi's faith in Ruth's and Boaz's purity is the reason for her "risky midnight maneuver." Henry stated, "[Naomi] knew Boaz to be... a grave sober man, a virtuous and religious man, and one that feared God[;] [s]he knew Ruth to be a modest woman...." I believe this interpretation is strengthened since it is consistent with the implications behind Ruth's and Boaz's first interaction in chapter 2. Boaz commends Ruth for her faithfulness to Naomi and consequently her faithfulness to God (Ruth 2:11-12). Boaz, being a righteous man, recognizes Ruth's own pursuit of righteousness.

Finally, John Piper's final interpretation sums up why I believe that Ruth and Boaz behaved honorably in God's sight. Piper said:

A middle-aged man in love with a young widow whom he discretely calls "my daughter," uncertain whether her heart might be going after the younger men, communicating the best he can that he wants to be God's wings for her. And a young widow gradually reading between the lines and finally ready to risk an interpretation by coming in the middle of the night to take refuge under the wing of his garment. That's powerful stuff!! Anybody who thinks that a loose woman and a finagling mother-in-law are at work her are on another planet. All is subtle. All is righteous. All is strategic

Thus, Piper attributes the workings of Naomi to be a subtle response to the subtle favors Boaz bestows on Ruth in his uncertainty of her true feelings or intentions. To add further weight to Boaz's character, he informs Ruth that there is another relative, closer than he, who can redeemer her, and he intends to go to this man first (Ruth 3:12-13). A man of impure intentions would not have sought to behave within the confines of the law in such a way. In conclusion, I believe that both Ruth's and Boaz's characters illustrate that they were righteous individuals, who though had the opportunity to behave sinfully, refrained from such actions and instead pursued holiness in upholding God's commands.
SDG

What inevitably happens when I try to take pictures with my dog

First, I try to wrangle him in to stay still for the two seconds it will take to snap a picture.

However, Stinger's attention span is about 1/2 a second so this is what happens next:

So, he runs away, looking cute...

and I'm left looking awkward and alone.

So I take pictures of my feet...
my adorable cat, who always strikes perfect poses...

and random stuff growing in the yard.

It's good to be in Tupelo. :)
SDG

Can I have it?

Found this while browsing Tattoologist. I don't know what it says, but I love it. One of these days, I'm getting a tattoo... just got to decide where... and what... and save up 50ish dollars. Hmmm....

SDG

Trainstation Photoshoot

Sunday after church, some friends and I decided to do a little photoshoot at the trainstation. Not only are my friends super photogenic, but they are also talented. Naaman and Carissa made some awesome shots, then Naaman Photoshopped them into even more awesomeness. Here are a few of the results. Enjoy. :)

* I Photoshopped this one.

 

 

SDG

Meanwhile, back at the blog...

It's been a while since my last post. Things picked up momentum quite quickly. I worked everyday last week: good for my checking account, not good for sleep, school work, and play time. But, since Saturday, time with friends has taken precedent, with little stops for assignments, two classes, a workout, and a good five hours at the office.

Reflecting on this, it makes me want to reiterate how much God has blessed me. I love seeing how He works in my life when I trust in His provision. These past few weeks have made me realize how a whole bunch of circumstances led me to Hattiesburg where I've become part of the most awesome church family ever, secured a decent, fun, and relevant-to-my-career part-time job, and where I am studying a field I find fascinating and challenging.

God, thank You so much for these blessings I recognize and even those I don't. Help me to remember this when times get tough, as they most certainly will in the future. You are the Almighty, God of the universe, and You chose to love me in spite of my disobedience, stubbornness, and lack of faith. I love you, Lord. Keep me close to You so I can grow more and more like You every day.

SDG

Say What You Mean

So, in an effort to get into super-focus mode to tackle seven articles in order to write a two-page summary of them, I headed straight to the coffee shop near my apartment after I got off work.

While devouring and unabashedly critiquing articles, I overheard a woman conversing with the barista. I don't know how their conversation ended up here, but the woman was saying that she had asked her husband whether he liked her spaghetti or his mom's spaghetti the best. He said his mom's. The woman told the barista that she didn't make her husband spaghetti for two years after that. The barista (male) empathized by saying that the woman's husband should have recognized that her inquiry was just a probe to get her husband to confirm that her spaghetti was indeed the best.

I thought that was the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. How is that logical? If I ask someone a question, I want the truth; otherwise, how will I be able to trust any feedback he or she gives me in the future? I will automatically think, "Are they saying this because they think it's what I want to hear or because it really is the truth?" Now, I know I'm in no place to make inferences on marriages, but I don't think that kind of communication is conducive to maintaining a good relationship. Besides, I want my future husband to be comfortable enough with me and with the security of our relationship that he can tell me anything, even if it is upsetting and I pout for a few days. That goes both ways.

In conclusion, say what you mean. Also, James 5:12
SDG

P.S. Finished my readings, and about to demolish a summary. :)

I love this picture.

While, procrastinating doing my article summaries for my newest research project (mostly because I'm certain I will find nothing already published relating to my topic), I came across this photo on A CUP OF JO. I'm not sure why, but I couldn't stop staring at it. Perhaps it's because it reminds me of those first stages in a new or budding romance when all the little brushes of skin send electricity through your body. Something so sweet and innocent as letting your forearms rest against each other feels so absolutely amazing, and the moment he acknowledges it, with a stroke of the thumb or fingertips just sends you reeling.
Mmmm... :)

SDG

Creative Outlet Part 3

Part 1 & Part 2

It was only a short while longer when the girl called out for the boy again. Her soul hadn't healed completely, but it had become tough in the places he'd touched. It was now safe to try and fix him.

He answered her call willingly. They talked for hours. All too soon, though, he had to go, but he left her with the promise to never be far away. On and off the boy and girl would talk, and this was good for the girl. It let her know that he still cared. With this assurance, eventually she began to notice other boys. One day, a new boy distinguished himself amongst the others. He was quiet where the first had been loquacious. He was available where the other had turned and run.

While she liked these differences and the attention the new boy gave her, the girl wasn't ready to open her soul to him as she had so eagerly done with the boy before, until unexpectedly, the first boy called out at the same time as the new boy. This greatly distressed the girl, for she could only answer one.

The girl considered the possibilities in answering the first. He had claimed her soul first. That space would always fit him best and she knew it; however, he had hurt her more than any other. She had been prepared to let him stay forever, and he had abandoned her.

The new boy, though, had all the potential to succeed where the first boy failed. Was it fair for her to deny him the chance to make a claim on her soul? She realized, though, that choosing the new boy would cause the first to drift away once again, and this made her cry.

She cried for a day.

Finally, she answered the new boy. He made her happier than she had been for a long, long time. He serenaded her, and she soaked him in, though never fully letting him enter her soul, like she had so readily done in the past. She was content with him on the outskirts, and he seemed content to be there.

One night, though, as they sat lost in each others' eyes, the girl decided she would let the boy in. She beckoned him. He came a bit closer, just lightly touching her soul. She welcomed the warmth where it had been cool for too long. But the boy didn't enter, and she didn't press him. This was enough for now. He would make a space in her soul soon enough in his own time.

However, the next day, the boy called out for the girl. She recognized the tone and began to worry. The boy said that he could not make a space for her inside his soul. It had been badly scarred by another girl, and the scab left was only just beginning to heal. Fighting back tears, the girl said she understood, and grateful that this would only be a minor wound in comparison to the gash left previously, she let the new boy go. He had his own soul to mend, and there was nothing she could do to help.

Yes, she let him go, but not entirely. She would wait, but not forever. She would wait with a tempered hope that his soul would heal in time for her to have a real chance.

I'm 23

When my mom was 23, she had been married for five years, had one kid and another on the way.

I, on the other hand, was on skate/long board/RipStik at 2 a.m. last night.

...

I don't know if this is a good or bad thing.

...

It sure was fun, though.
SDG

I didn't leave the apartment today.

Not even to go to the mail box. It was lovely.

When I finally rolled out of bed at 11:30, I planned on being really lazy and reading, watching movies, or playing video games all day. This is what I actually did:

Finished scrubbing my bathroom floor
Washed the dishes that had been in the sink since Monday
Finally unpacked from last week
Washed two loads of laundry
Vacuumed the apartment
Mopped the kitchen
Cooked a delicious make-shift taco salad with rice and salsa
Worked out (minimally, only 20 minutes of Pilates) and
Finished reading Orson Scott Card's Magic Street
All whilst listening to a lot of Fleet Foxes and Avett Bros

And the night isn't over. I still plan on getting in a movie before bed. I feel like I've done a lot today, despite my not venturing out of doors. Maybe I didn't really do all that much, but since I woke up unambitious, anything I did felt like an accomplishment. Hey! Maybe I should wake up with that mindset every morning. Then every day would be a success compared to the low standards of achievement I'd set for myself... or maybe not. ;)
SDG

Feather Earrings and Purple Jeans

So just a quick post before I curl up in my bed and read into the wee hours of the morning.

To recap:

Been in Tupelo with the fam since Saturday.

Went thrifting/shopping Sunday. Got these lovely items. I originally planned to turn the jeans into cut-offs, but I really like them long, too. Ah, we shall see. It gets awfully hot in the 'burg, and a worn-in pair of purple cut-offs would be awesome to have in the coming months.

Worked from home Monday and Tuesday, getting some emails out, designing our new pool menus and some flyers for an upcoming dinner

In my down time, I've watched several episodes of Supernatural and a few of Glee (I've kind of lost interest, though I'm not sure why...)

Today, I played around in Illustrator, attempting to design a background for this here blog. I came up with a design I really liked (shown below) but couldn't get the right sizing or positioning. If any of my web design-inclined friends out there have any pointers, I'm all ears.

 

All in all, I'm very much enjoying my short break from classes and being home. It'll go by all too quickly, and I will once again be in full-on grad student mode before I know it. (P.S. GPA for the semester? 4.0!!! Wooo!!) Now, off to enjoy some Orson Scott Card. :)

SDG

I Can't Say

I can't say I don't want you
I don't know if I do
I can't say that I want you
I don't want it to be true

I had you for a while
But that wasn't long enough
You said you weren't ready
The last one left you hurt
But lately I've been thinking
That this silence isn't right
I tried not to miss you
But it's not possible tonight

I don't want you to forget
How I felt in your arms
Lips loosened in a flash
Sweet kisses meant no harm
It hurts me to remember
Your laugh in our embrace
Talk of music in your car
My neck and your face

I try to keep busy
And try not to think of you
It's been all too easy
When life is there to do
But when everything's silent
And you are far away
I can't help but wish
That you had come to stay

I can't say I don't want you
I don't know if I do
I can't say that I want you
I don't want it to be true

Things that make me happy

Recognizing each day as a blessing from my Father
Sleeping in
Coffee
Pretty dresses
Tress swaying in the wind
A good book
Indie/Folk Rock music
Friends who are more like family

Bin Laden is dead.

My thought process in response to this:

1. He was a terrorist.
2. His death is just.
3. By God's standards, we all deserve death.
4. I deserve death.
5. However, under grace, I am granted life, by no merit of my own.
6. Am I particularly joyful over this man's death?
7. No.
8. He will spend eternity in torment.
8. Will I mourn the death of a man responsible for the lives lost of countless others?
9. No.

SDG

Dresses!

I'm working on one of my final two papers left to write. I'm currently about six pages in with 14 left to go. I'm over halfway through reviewing my sources, and I am so super ready for my three week break before Summer classes start.

I have already decided that upon completion of my first semester of grad school (with a 4.0, hopefully!) I will reward myself with a new dress from Forever 21. We didn't have this store in Tupelo, and when I walked into the one here, I was smitten. I basically wanted every item there, but alas, my poor grad student status has required I keep tight purse strings, so I refrained. Now, however, I have a legitimate excuse! Browsing their Web site, I have narrowed my choices to three dresses. I really had my heart set on a floral, but this one would be great for work.

 This next one is floral, and I could possibly wear it to work, but it might be a tad short; however, that doesn't normally stop me from wearing such things.

Finally, I came across this one. I could see myself throwing on this one on a hot Saturday afternoon with some strappy sandals to go grab a bite to eat with the rooms or some shopping downtown. Breezy, simple, and cute.

Thoughts? Suggestions? Decisions, decisions... but I guess I'm counting my chickens before they hatch. Haven't even finished all my papers, and still two presentations to go. Must focus. Want cute dresses. Hahaha. Have a lovely Saturday!

SDG

Just For Now

Last Saturday afternoon, I took a little break from writing about cultural values in international advertising to play around with my friends, Naaman and Patrick, in recording a snippet of a cover of Imogen Heap's "Just For Now." If you have a spare 33 seconds, check it out! You can listen to it/download it below.



Also, you can head over to his blog, NJR: Music, to read about the recording process more, and you can find his other recordings here. 
SDG

What to do with 3 dozen boiled eggs:

Yesterday, after a wonderful morning worship service at The Venue Church, some friends and I spent the whole day watching Lord Of The Rings, eating junk food, and dying a gazillion Easter eggs.

While this was a ton of fun, Ashley and I were left with three dozen boiled eggs in our fridge. Normally, I'm not the tuna/chicken egg salad type, but in an effort to eat instead of chunk these eggs, I sought out a healthy recipe that I might actually enjoy. I did find one here, and after I made some modifications (I doubled the recipe and instead of 4 cans of tuna, I did 2 plus 4 boiled eggs), this is what I came up with.

You will need:

1 red pepper

4 medium stalks of celery

2 medium carrots

1/2 cup of light mayonnaise

6 tbs of plain yogurt (I used an 8oz container here)

Juice from half a lemon

2 cans of tuna (packed in water, no yucky oil here)

4 boiled eggs

Salt & pepper to taste

First, chop the red pepper, then add it to a large bowl

Next, chop the celery. I used a vegetable peeler to get rid of the stringy bits before I chopped. Add it to the bowl with the peppers.
Next, peel the carrots. I like to peel the first layer and throw it away (to get rid of any grossness from sitting in the store) then peel the rest over the bowl.

Next, dice the hard boiled eggs. I removed the yellows from mine because 1) I don't like the texture, and 2) It's filled with cholesterol. Take that and your tuna and add it to the bowl.

Finally, measure out the mayo and yogurt and throw those in.

Then mix everything all together, sprinkle salt and pepper, and you're done!

I have to say, I'm pleased with the result. I spread it on some wheat bread and ate it with some pita chips. Like I said, I don't normally eat this kind of stuff, but it's full of crunch and flavor, and apparently it's healthy! The celery plus the lemon juice gives the salad the taste of the traditional pickles, and the plain yogurt adds a little tangy-ness that compliments the tuna well.

Anyway, if you're also left with several dozen boiled eggs, I hope this recipe helps out! I must be a productive grad student now and work on papers.

SDG

Dear readers (if there are any of you left),

Our Internet is down at the A-P-T, I've had to go into work extra days, and I'm still not finished with my first paper that I will be presenting on this Wednesday. So, there's my excuses. Take them as you will.

Now that's out of the way, I'm taking a break from paper writing now, to give you a little post.

I came across this sweatshirt at Out of Print Clothing. I want it.

Also, here is a little funny video from a couple of weekends ago of me and some friends being silly downtown. Enjoy and have a good week! :)

SDG

Life Lesson of the Winter:

Sometimes pretending everything is alright is all that it takes to actually make everything alright.


Life Lesson of the Fall
Life Lesson of the Summer

I love this. :)

"If seeing is right, then look where you're at."

Papers are looming, work is booming, and Spring is blooming. Okay, I know that was super lame, but I really didn't intend for that to rhyme. It is the truth, though, and that combination is just begging for disaster.

I have 4 papers due by the 2nd week of May, totaling at about 50 pages worth of writing. How much have I done? About two... and that's on a group paper. I'm so trying not to freak out right now.

However, at the moment, I've got the apartment to myself, I'm just spot on with the completion of assignments, I'm in yoga pants in anticipation for this afternoon's class, coffee is in hand, and Sufjan is playing from the kitchen.

For some reason, I'm feeling more of myself than usual. I keep having this inexplicable feeling that I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be, doing exactly what I'm supposed to be doing, and that something good is just around the corner, and let me tell you, that is a really good feeling, especially after the long, dark winter.

So to recap: Sufjan, coffee, yoga later, and maybe knocking out one more assignment this evening.
SDG

I am not a feminist, but I am a Christian

Tuesday night, instead of going to my Critical and Cultural Theories class, we were required to attend a showing of a feminist film titled, Killing Us Softly 4. Needless to say, I was less than thrilled. However, the film was not terrible. (I found the first 5mins on YouTube, and it suffices in getting the point across.) It was basically a recording of this woman giving a presentation on the way women are portrayed in advertising. We were asked to write a critique of the film, and I just thought I'd share a few of my revelations with the blog world.



Please, don't misunderstand me. I so do not consider myself a feminist; however, I am a Christian, and the way women are portrayed in our media is not Biblical, and contrary to what some may believe, Christianity does not work to subordinate women to men. In fact, we see a woman who works and takes care of her family in Proverbs 31, Eve was created as a helper to Adam, not a slave, and finally we see in multiple instances in the New Testament concerning the roles of women and men within marriage (for examples, see Eph. 5, Col. 3, 1 Peter 3, etc.). If you notice, whenever there is mention of wives being submissive, it is to their husbands (not all men everywhere) and there is a following commandment specifically for the husbands, which is to be loving, respectful, and honoring. Now that is clarified, here is a little bit of my paper.
SDG

It appears that Kilbourne was very perceptive in recognizing that there is a growing problem in the manner that women are portrayed in advertising and in the way that women are  advertised to. I am somewhat aware that women are inaccurately portrayed in advertising, being a mass communication student, but I had no idea the specifics or extent. For example, her discussion of the dismemberment of women's bodies which leads to the interpretation of women as an object, not an individual. Kilbourne also mentioned that this objectification is the first step in abuse, which I had not considered. Secondly, she discussed that women are often advertised to in a way that suggests food as a substitute for a relationship and are described in sexual terms. For example the ad with a picture of a cookie with the copy that reads, "Your lips look lonely. May I keep them company?" Women and sexuality have become so synonymous, that now our food needs to be sexy!

Kilbourne made me aware that some of my presuppositions of femininity might have origins in our culture’s advertisements, especially in relation to aspects of my appearance. I believe Kilbourne put it as something similar to always being plucked and shaved. It especially rang true when she brought up an ad featuring a girl with a flawless face and exclaimed, “In fact, she has no pores!” That really brought to light the unrealistic standard being pushed on women by the media.

I would like to consider the possibility that these images of women have become so separated from real life women, that the images only exist as representations of themselves, not as representations of real woman. In other words, the sign, a woman’s image, signifies not living, breathing woman, but something completely other in the audiences’ mind. I would speculate that for some, because they are aware of the way images are created and manufactured in the media, they know that what they are looking at is not representative of the thing they know as a woman, and so, a new signified (media woman, if you will) is created. This may be a stretch, or trying to give our society the benefit of the doubt, but I feel like that is my mind’s process when comparing mediated images of women to the real women in my life and find that the two do not coincide.

Procrastination

It's Saturday, 79 degrees, and sunny. What am I doing? Lying on my living room floor with my International Advertising book trying to finish my presentation for Monday night. What do I want to be doing? Kayaking down a river somewhere, the sun hot on my shoulders, the water sparkling in front of me, and the sounds of spring surrounding me.

I've got cabin fever bad. I spent the majority of last night researching tents and local areas to paddle. So far, I'm leaning toward this one. Anyone have suggestions or input regarding tents? I'd love to hear it. Also, I'm not sure whether to go 2 person or 3 person.

Oh, motivation, where are you! Slipping further and further away, I see. I must persevere. I refuse to do schoolwork on Sundays, and I've got a whole new set of assignments to tackle next week. Lord, give me focus, give me patience, and may I have an opportunity soon to enjoy your glorious creation.
SDG

All work and no play... makes for no blogging.

Sorry for the lack of posts. 1) I've been going non-stop since I got back from Spring Break, and 2) The internet at my apartment has been acting up.

I'm at work right now, being overwhelmed by emails that need to go out, flyers to design and print, disc after disc of pictures to go through for our website, and coming up with a design for our wedding information packet. The only reason I'm able to update now is because it's taking forever to copy the picture files to the computer.

Though the last several days have been busy, they've been wonderful. The roommate threw me a surprise birthday party. I participated in my church's mission week and went to New Orleans to pass out backpacks to the homeless in the area, we painted a house, and we got to play and minister to some kids at a local apartment complex. All of it was such a moving experience. To try and express what those few days meant to me would cheapen the emotion, so I won't try.

I really wanted to have some pictures for you readers, but that's not going to happen here at work. But I'm so thankful that I have work and I really enjoy what I do. A break will come soon enough.
SDG

In Remembrance

So, I'm home in Tupelo for Spring Break. March is basically the birthday month in my family, so it's good I got to come home this year. There's at least six of us with birthdays this month, which was signaled by my uncle Russell's on the 3rd.

Russell passed away in an apartment fire when he was in school at Mississippi State when I was eleven. I didn't get to see him a lot when I was little, but what I do remember is getting him in tickle fights with my sisters, stealing his wallet and making him chase us around the house, and waking up to him and his college friends sleeping on our couches on random weekends when they visited my parents.

That's me and him. I couldn't have been more than one year old, so he was about 13. He was always a lot of fun. I miss him sometimes randomly-- like when I start to think about if we would have hung out once I got older like I do with my aunts now, or if he would have taken me to concerts and told me about cool new bands, or whenever I hear the Grateful Dead or Widespread Panic.

So, this is just a little blog memorial, me dedicating a post to my cool uncle who shared my birth month. Miss you, Russell. I'll be seeing you on down the road.
SDG

Hello, Weekend.

My life has been pretty mundane as of late. Hence, the lack of posts. The pattern has been class, work, study, class, work, read, and class. Thank the Lord, the weekend came, though.

My cousin and his wife had their first baby Thursday, so Friday afternoon, I went to see her. She is precious.

Then, after finishing up some assigned reading Friday afternoon, I got to try my hand at disc golf. I wasn't terrible and feel like if I played more often I could be decent. Friday evening I watched Inception for the first time ever (I know, I know... but I basically lived in a bubble this summer). I don't know if it was just because I had been hearing all this hype about it, increasing my expectations, but I wasn't that impressed. After the movie, just around midnight, the urge to eat endless pancakes consumed some of us, which led us to IHOP, with plans to go to the park afterward. Well after we had stuffed ourselves, we ended up back at the apartment where we watched videos on YouTube until 2 a.m., so the park idea was abandoned.

Yesterday Ash and I lounged around the house (pancakes got angry with me and took it out on my stomach) until supper time when Kat, Josh, and Naaman came over. We ate and then headed downtown, where things like this happened. Apparently, we have an affinity for statues, some more so than others....

Now, I'm enjoying the Lord's Day, trying not to think about all that I have to do next week. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. (Matt. 6:34b). I'll have plenty of time to take care of assignments and prepare for work. No use in worrying about them now.
SDG

A Breather

This past week has been crazy!

• Went to the park Sunday afternoon because it was gorgeous and hung out with friends all day. (Also, locked my keys in my car at church Sunday night, but that's a different story)
• Roommate moved in for good (finally!) on Monday.
• Had company with us from Monday til Wednesday, ensuring a surplus of activity-- on top of classes and work.
• Thursday, went to work, grocery shopped with the rooms, Ash cooked for Kat and I, and then we all watched several episodes of How I Met Your Mother, then we went out for a bit.
• Today I spent mostly compiling and organizing study materials for my first graduate student test next Tuesday, with a break for a quick run and some house work.

Though this week has been an unending list of things to do, I'm so grateful to actually have the opportunity to do them! I used to miss weeks like this during my extended summer vacation (that's what I'm calling my semester break between State and Southern). Tomorrow, though, all that is on the agenda is to sit around and finish up my assigned reading for next week. After that, who knows.
SDG

A Thrifting Adventure

Sometime yesterday evening, the urge to thrift came over me; therefore, I knew exactly what I wanted to do this beautiful afternoon (I think it must have reached 60 and it's been sunny all day). So, Kat and I set out on our adventure.

First we hit up Milkspiller. Not much for clothes, but we spent well over an hour browsing books and looking at records. I left with two paperbacks: Madeline L'Engle's A Wrinkle In Time and A Wind In the Door. I also bought two coasters made from a Steve Miller Band and Molly Hatchet record. Kat found some really cool old books.

Then we went to Goodwill, which was just down the street. I found a bunch of really nice tops that I can wear to my new job. I also found this really cute lightweight denim skirt, but it was too big, so I had to put it back.

After Goodwill, we went to Calico Mall. It was awesome. One could literally spend hours in that place looking at all the vintage and antique stuff. I left with a Methodist Hymnal from 1989 and a yellow necklace. Kat and I, however, spent a significant amount of time trying on hats.

Here are the end results from the afternoon. I'm very pleased.

Now, I'm awaiting Kat and Josh and maybe a few others for some dinner. Such a good, good Saturday.
SDG

I got a job!

Yes, it finally happened! I am once again a lowly intern. I'm not putting in many hours... or making much money, but it will be enough for rent and bills, which is of the utmost importance at this point.

I've gone in twice this week. I really enjoy it. I've been updating their member email list, creating and scheduling event emails, proofing newsletter articles, and writing some. Everyone I work with is super nice. Though, what's really awesome is that they serve lunch there, and I can eat for free! Today I had a salad and asparagus and Parmesan soup. It was sooo good!

However, now I must get to work on some assignments. I have five article summaries (which I've only done two and a half of) and a chapter to read by Monday, three chapters to read by Tuesday along with a paper topic (I'm leaning towards a cultural analysis of Supernatural), and two law cases to look up by Wednesday. It's not a whole lot, but I'll have company early next week who I'll want to spend time with, and as soon as I finish all the reading for this week, I'll have the next week's to tackle. Ick. It never ends.

Yea for education and yea for employment!
SDG

"Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the LORD..."

I don't know exactly how to convey what I'm feeling right now. Every time I try to express it, the words sound trite and cliche. Seeing how the Lord works in my life is just absolutely astounding to me, especially when I consider it in relation to how completely undeserving I am, but I guess that's just the definition of grace in action.

I read a passage in Exodus a few days ago-- chapter 14, the crossing of the Red Sea.

[10] When Pharaoh drew near, the people of Israel lifted up their eyes, and behold, the Egyptians were marching after them, and they feared greatly. And the people of Israel cried out to the LORD. [11] They said to Moses, “Is it because there are no graves in Egypt that you have taken us away to die in the wilderness? What have you done to us in bringing us out of Egypt? [12] Is not this what we said to you in Egypt: ‘Leave us alone that we may serve the Egyptians’? For it would have been better for us to serve the Egyptians than to die in the wilderness.”
(Exodus 14:10-12 ESV)

I feel like the people of Israel most of the time. The Israelites have witnessed time and time again God's power, yet at the first sign of trouble, they cry out to return to the familiar, the safe-- a life of slavery. In the same way, I see God act in my life, but start to doubt His unending love and faithfulness whenever He calls me to do something I'm not comfortable with, i.e. move four hours away from home with no certainty of an income. I feel like I also cry out, "Leave me alone, so I can handle life the way I think it should be."  However, Moses replies:

[13] And Moses said to the people, “Fear not, stand firm, and see the salvation of the LORD, which he will work for you today. For the Egyptians whom you see today, you shall never see again. [14] The LORD will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.”
(Exodus 14:13-14 ESV)

What wonderful, lovely words for God's children. The LORD will fight for you. And what do we have to do to earn this promise of deliverance? You have only to be silent. Nothing. Not talk about Christ to the most number of people. Not wear all the right t-shirts, listen to all the right songs, or go to all the right conferences. Praise the Lord our salvation rests solely in Christ's blood, received not by works, but by faith. See the salvation of the LORD which he will work for you today. Oh, how I need to hear those words of Moses everyday of my life!

Sola Scriptura, Sola Fide, Sola Gratia, Solus Christus, Soli Deo Gloria

Where I'd Like To Be

It's 33 degrees outside and sleeting. I'm bundled up in my apartment with assigned readings, coffee, and Indie music. Don't get me wrong, I'm content with books, music, coffee, and generally being lazy, but all I can think about right now is being somewhere like this.

I haven't been kayaking since October 2009. I want to be out on the water, in the sunshine, listening to the sounds of the river. I want warm weather and swimsuits. I want to feel the sun hot on my skin, penetrating to my bones. I'm trying to curb this desire by looking up places near the 'burg to paddle and by fantasizing about possible future trips. As soon as school and the weather permit, that's where I'm heading.

However, for now, there are still two chapters I want to tackle, it's still sleeting, and I need to fix some lunch.
SDG