I Might Be Crazy

Sometimes I want to scream and spin in a circle until I'm dizzy drunk and fall down.

You see, I get this feeling randomly (well, really, I get a lot of feelings that I take very seriously-- this is only one) I know it's significant, but it's not really explicable. It's this feeling like I'm about to overflow. A building pressure that might overwhelm my being at any moment. It's sort of an ominous feeling like the world is just too big and I'm too insignificant and I should give up. And screaming and flailing about is the only way to release the feeling.

But then... I remember that it doesn't really matter. The world is big, but I"m here for only a short time, and that time has been preordained for me by a God who's bigger than it all. Whatever happens is what's supposed to happen. Now, I won't sit passively and wait for something to happen. No. I'll move forward the best way I know how, trusting that the path I'm on will lead me to where I'm supposed to be.

"But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."
(Philippians 3:13-14 ESV)

SDG

Knitting & Chi

There are just two things I've deemed blog-worthy this morning. First, I've started knitting again. This time, though, I've decided to go a bit more fancy and bought some circular knitting needles. Ooooh!

My hope is that this will turn into a comfy cowl, and if all goes well, I want to make a bunch of them and start an Etsy shop to sell them. Anybody out there want a hand-made, alpaca wool cowl???

Secondly, and you'll only understand this if you've hung out on my balcony, but there's been some landscaping changes at the store that is essentially my front yard. Before, it was just a bunch of trash... but now we have pretty trees!

You have no idea how happy this makes me! And it has greatly improved the apartment's chi. ;)

SDG

Funny Conversations from Yesterday

The Zombie Apocalypse
Text conversation between me and Kate--

Kate: Hey, where are you?
Me: Babysitting.
Kate: Ohhhh. I was wondering why you were up so early.
Me: Yep. You know I wouldn't be up at 7 of my own volition!
Kate: I figured you either had to babysit or the zombie apocalypse was set to begin today, and you awoke to prepare.
Me: Well, if it were the latter, I would have at least warned you so you could prepare also.
Kate: We will be ready when the day comes.


The Wisdom of Children
Conversation with a 3-year-old girl--

3-year-old: My boyfriend, Connor, gets on my nerves, so bad!
Me: Oh, well, maybe he shouldn't be your boyfriend anymore.
3-year-old: No, I think he still wants to be.
Me: Ahhh. Okay, then. Well, why does he get on your nerves?
3-year-old: Because I love him!

SDG

Catch Me If You Can

You won't have forever to make up you mind
You won't have forever but, baby, take your time
I know the game you're playing
I've known it from the start
I know you didn't mean to
But you've shown me all your cards

I am waiting patiently
At least as patient as I can
But I won't wait forever, darlin'
Catch me if you can

As familiar to me as an old, favorite book
Worn, torn, and tear-stained pages
Tell more than words with just one look
If you were a song,
I would call you Solomon
Too damn wise for your own good

I am waiting patiently
At least as patient as I can
But I won't wait forever, darlin'
Catch me if you can

"Freewill is not our choice," I turn to you and say
You reply, "What does it matter, babe?
"The matter exists in the same state"
We can't look inside
It could be dead or alive
I'm not convinced it's both at the same time

SDG

Little Things

Things that make me happy right now:

Listening to music that reminds me of my childhood
Anticipating my next trip to the library and the books I've planned to check out
Wearing jeans to work
Going to yoga this week

SDG

Misconceptions & Ramblings on Love

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends...." (1 Corinthians 13:4-8 ESV)

Read that again. No, really read it. I feel like this is one of the passages of Scripture that we skim over and are all like, "Yeah, yeah. I know this one. Love is good. Happy thoughts. La dee la," and then move on. There's so much more there, though!

What this says to me is that loving someone is hard. It's not something you simply "fall" into. Love is a choice, a decision, an action, a series of actions. Love doesn't go away when it is not reciprocated, when it is not appreciated, when it is not accepted. Love is not all butterflies and good times. Love is selfless. Love is painful. Loving someone basically guarantees a broken heart.

Is it worth it?

"Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us." (1 John 4:7-12 ESV

Jesus loved us. That love wasn't easy. In fact, it meant His death. But we love others out of a response for God's love for us, no matter what that love looks like. To quote Chris Martin, no body said it was easy.
SDG

Mostly Pictures of My Dog

I went to visit my parents today... and when I say "visit my parents," I really mean "visit my dog." I hate so much that she can't stay with me in Hattiesburg, but I know she has a blast roaming 40 acres of land, chasing deer, and playing with her dog buddies. Maybe one day when I have a house and a yard, she can live with me again.

I got to see how the house was coming along, too, and then Daddy and I went in search of black berries. I was determined to leave with as many as possible, despite the fact I was walking the four wheeler trails in flip flops. It was worth it. I found some of the juiciest black berries I've ever had! I even found some animal (wild pig, maybe??) remains and pretty flowers.

I took pictures. Enjoy.

SDG