Let's Go Back to the Start

I wish I could go back to May, when I had the whole summer to look forward to, a summer full of promise.

I want that state of mind back. I want back the faith I had then. It seems I lost my way somehow between hopeful May, the excitement of early June, the devastation of late June and early July, and then the bliss that ensued until the beginning of August. I want to be that happy and carefree.

August and September seem a blur of confusion and trying to grasp on to whatever I could. October was miserable, and November wasn't that much better.

Now it's December. I'm a mess. I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. Everything's black, but sometimes I can catch a whiff of fresh, cool air, so I guess I'm headed the right direction. I can't help but think it's not over, and I'm waiting on whatever it is that I need to move on.

God, You've been there for me when I needed You most. I'm clinging to Your promises, calling on Your name. Please, don't let this be the end. I only want to do Your will, Lord. Give me the faith, the courage, and the strength I need to do that. Lead me on Your paths. Use me how You will. Change my heart. I pray these things in Christ's name, in whom I have the privilege to sit at Your mercy seat. Amen.
SDG